Ahhh contrast. No matter how life-experienced or spiritually-wise you are contrast will always be a part of your time in 'physical form'. And that's a good thing!

Contrast offers an opportunity to gain clarity about what you don't want to have as a part of life. With that knowledge and awareness you also have clarity on what you DO want.

It's the age old analogy of 'how can you know hot unless you know cold'. (I prefer 'how can you know you love chocolate ice cream unless you try the other flavours - all the other flavours.')

Sometimes contrast looks like traffic, a break-up, a diagnosis... All contrast, whether it feels big or small, plays an important and necessary part in your thriving, expanding and evolving. How you choose to be within the contrast, and who you choose to be through it and after it, are the key factors in how long the contrast will be present.

Before I continue let me make it very clear that I am not a 'Positive Vibes Only' kinda gal. Feel how you feel. Even the negative emotions are useful and beneficial, especially when you are present and aware. Because when you are present and aware of how you feel you can deliberately choose how long you stay there by how much focus and attention you give to whatever is inspiring the emotion within you.

When you find yourself in the middle of uncomfortable contrast a practiced reaction is to give it so much attention that you add to it and make it feel bigger, and by law of attraction look bigger, than it was when you first became aware of it.

Other practiced reactions to contrast are to push against it through anger or in an effort to make it go away, or to try and get to the root or cause of it by picking through it piece by piece.

What if you just experience contrast instead?

What if you recognize it's there (feeling negative emotion will let you know), observe it, be curious about it without letting yourself get hooked into all sorts of conversations about it?

What if instead of trying to fix what you think is wrong or broken you find a way to be more at ease within the discomfort and be with the contrast while it's there rather than trying to run as fast as you can away from it?

Rather than pushing against, tightening around, trying to solve or dissect the contrast what if you just be present, aware, curious and as at peace with it as you can?

How would that change your experience of contrast?

Who would you be during and after?

How would it feel?

If you want to feel emotional relief, if you want your contrast discomfort to last for shorter periods of time, if you want to experience and understand that contrast is not happening to you, it's happening for you, this is a worthy wellbeing-mindset-tool to try.

I encourage you to practice being with 'small' contrast this way first and then practice it with 'bigger' contrast. (I have small and bigger in quotes because it's all energy and small or big is only a representation of the amount of focus and therefor energy, you are giving to it.)

There is so much more I can share with you on Contrast, its benefits, how to navigate through it and use it to your benefit. To hear more on the conversation on Contrast and other wellbeing-mindset-tools join us as a part of the community in the Wellbeing with Lora Facebook Group!

To get started fine-tuning your own relationship with Contrast purchase your copy of the Wellbeing Love Notes eBook and Workbook today! Receive reflection questions, inspirational quotes and wellbeing-mindset reminders instantly that you can go back to at any time.

You deserve to feel good. And NOW is YOUR time.

I love having personal rituals, there is something special and 'magical' about them. They have a very different feel than a habit or a routine.

Rituals feel more sacred and meaningful, even empowering. There is a direct connection to our values, an honouring of them, through the actions within our rituals. I like to think of rituals as deliberately chosen actions that are in line with and represent our values. They are values in action - actions with purpose, awareness and meaning.

Routines are helpful and satisfying in their own ways but feel more task oriented and end result focused. Often routines turn into habits, the things we have practiced doing so often we end up doing them on auto-pilot without real focus or attention. 

Where rituals have intention and purpose behind them as a stand alone experience rather than a means to an end goal. (Even though rituals can contribute to one.) 

Traditions can even be rituals if the mindfulness and intention is still there after years of performing the tradition. It's easy to continue traditions out of habit instead of for the values we started them or implemented them with in the first place.

It is said that meditation is doing anything with your full attention. Add intention and personal values to the thing you are doing and you have a mindful action, a ritual.

Even parts of a yoga practice can be a ritual. At the start of a practice settling into the body, deliberately guiding the breath and at the end of the practice in the final resting pose of savasana or the humble appreciation and acknowledgement of our one-ness by completing the practice with namaste. If you practice yoga next time you are on your mat think of the beginning and ending, as rituals and see if it adds anything to the experience for you.

Taking deliberate and mindful actions, with intention, that align with your values feels good. That on its own is enough reason to add rituals into your life. As a wellbeing tool rituals offer other bonus benefits too.

Benefits of creating and performing personal rituals
- They help you to (re)connect with yourself, with others and with the present moment.
- The actions taken as part of a ritual can create momentum in the direction you want to be moving, in any life area, and can help to facilitate positive change.
- You receive immediate fulfillment because rituals connect to important personal values - this reduces the need for motivation or willpower to take an action towards a goal.

How to create a ritual
- Think of life values that are important to you.
- Reflect on your every day tasks and see if you can turn one into a ritual. (Adding a personal value to the task, thinking about why it's important to you, and adding awareness and intention can turn tasks such as making your bed or brushing your teeth into an enjoyed daily ritual.)
- Start with one or two of these everyday tasks as rituals and then add in new rituals when you feel inspired to. Great creative! If it feels good it's a good ritual fit for you.
- Be specific in what you are doing as your ritual. Attention to the details helps to make it meaningful and fulfilling rather than just another to-do on your daily list.
- Allow yourself the opportunity and permission to change up your rituals if they start to feel like a habit or routine.

Creating rituals is a beautiful way to honour who you are and life itself. By being deliberate, purposeful, present and aligned with your personal values you are paying tribute to and enjoying the things that matter to you. 

Whether your ritual is brushing your teeth, taking a bath, preparing a meal, a yoga practice or something very specific to you, having rituals as a part of your wellbeing tool kit is a beautiful gift to yourself.

Which every day tasks will you be turning into rituals? 

What new rituals are you going to create?

Share them with the Wellbeing with Lora community in the comments section below! I would love to hear from you!

Have you ever tried to make a decision or sort through a life experience and you ask the people around you what they would do, or what they think you should do? 

Why do you think we do that? 

Why do we reach outside of ourselves for answers about what is best for us?

Why do we rely on what others think and say – which is all based on their own life experiences and beliefs, no matter how much they know and love us – rather than tuning in to what feels right for ourselves?

I believe the answer is because we have not been shown or taught how to do it otherwise. 

We come into this world being connected to our inner being and voice. Think about how kids try things, are curious and do what they want. They follow their own inner voice. 

Adults believe that because they have been here on earth longer that they know what is best for children and teenagers. And so the teaching and training away from listening to self begins. No, don’t do that... Behave this way because it’s expected of you... Follow the norms of society… etc. Until one day in our adulthood (early adulthood if we’re lucky) we start to feel like we have been living life on someone else’s terms. We have been making choices and decisions based on what we think we should do or what others tell us we should do, rather than listening to what truly feels right for us. 

We become aware of just how much we have been trying to please others. Even those who mean well and love us unconsciously steer us away from our inner being. 

How do we get back to listening to and honouring our own inner voice when we have been listening to others for so many years? How do we focus less on what others think and care more about what feels best to us?

The first step is awareness. Being as aware as you can be, as often as you can, of when you are looking to others for your answers. Start by just noticing without needing to change it right away. Do your best to notice and observe when it happens but don’t beat yourself up over it. You are simply behaving in a way that you have been for many years. It’s a practiced pattern (an unconscious, practice by default pattern) that you have decided no longer serves you. Give yourself time for it to change and be kind to yourself as you are making the shift. 

Once you have practiced being aware of when you don’t listen to your inner voice there will come a time when you are ready to do it differently. This is the second part of awareness – being aware of how you feel (on the subject/decision/choice at hand). If you are feeling conflicted and not clear on how you feel chances are you are still caught up in your thoughts about the ‘what if’ details. See if you can focus more on your body, your heart, your belly and notice your feelings. See if you can move away from the details of the topic and go general. Move away from the ‘story’ of what you are experiencing and focus on the feelings, energy and vibration you feel around it. 

Be as general as you can and think about making decision in one particular direction. Notice how you feel when you imagine that version. Stay in this for a few minutes and then bring yourself back to the present in order to become somewhat neutral again. When you are ready imagine making the choice in another direction. Notice how you feel when you imagine this version. 

Sometimes this process makes it very clear which option feels best. And other times the difference is subtle. Either way, you will always have one choice that feels lighter, easier, creates more relief for you, than the other. It doesn’t matter why. It doesn’t matter what others would choose. What matters most is the direction that feels best to you. 

Once you have determined which option feels better or less resistant, take action in that direction. Notice how you feel when you do and notice how it feels afterwards. You will begin to notice things feel better when you follow your inner guidance. With time and practice your trust in your inner voice will strengthen because it will never lead you astray. 

It will take time to change your habits and patters from listening more to others, to listening more to yourself. The benefits you will receive from honouring yourself more will be worth it. Why not start now? As you move throughout the rest of your day be aware - Who are you listening to?  - and continue your awareness from there 

You may have heard the term vibrational alignment. What does it really mean? Or better yet, what does vibrational alignment feel like, and why is it something to be aware of?

One of the definitions of alignment reads: alliance or union with a party, cause, etc; desirable coordination or relation of components; harmonization of aims, practices, etc.

Union… Desirable coordination… Harmonization of aims and practices… 

A match. Things lining up with each other. A coming together. 

You can think of vibrational or personal alignment as the lining up of actions, thoughts and choices with who you are and what feels best to you and your values as a person. Not who you think you should be in order to please others. Who you truly are: whole, worthy, love, joy, divine Universal energy. 

When you make a decision or a choice, and you really listen to your inner voice, you can feel which direction is most in alignment with who you are, and with what you are wanting to feel or experience. 

Think of a time when you felt pulled in a particular direction or were more drawn to a particular choice. Sometimes you can explain or understand why you feel that pull or draw. While other times you may not know exactly why.

Through some of your past experiences I’m sure you can remember how it felt to follow that call, pull or draw, and listen to and honour your inner voice.

And I’m sure there have also been times when you did not listen or move in the direction you felt most called. You are not alone in this. So many of us make choices based on what others think and say instead of what truly feels best, what feels most in alignment, with self.

What does it feel like when you do listen and follow what you are being called to? What does it feel like when you don’t?

When you are in alignment with yourself (through your thoughts, actions, decisions and choices) it often feels like ease, fun, playfulness, excitement, joyful, grateful, relief … 

Being in vibrational alignment, aligned with your higher/inner self, is a state of being that is available to you at any time. It just takes practice being aware of how you feel, trusting and honouring what feels best to you, and taking action in that direction. 

And in times when you don't honour your alignment be aware of that too. Be aware with kindness to your self. Simply notice. And try again the next time an opportunity for alignment presents itself. And it will. The opportunities for personal alignment are abundant each and every day, giving you plenty of chances to practice. The more you practice, the better it feels and the easier and more natural it becomes to live your life from your center and true self. 

We’ve all heard the saying 'Life is about the journey, not the destination.' One of my favourite sayings from Abraham-Hicks is "The joy is in the journey..." But what does it all really mean? 

In life there is never truly any destination at all. There is no one place we are trying to reach. Sure we have goals that we want to achieve and experiences we want to have. And even though these things are specific, when we reach them they are merely a new place, a new platform, from which we shoot off new goals, dreams or wants. These platforms aren’t destinations. They’re part of the journey. 

Often when we reach these platforms the excitement is short lived. When we are standing in the moment of the manifestation of the goal or experience, we now have new excitement, new preferences and new passions. And these propel us forward, further along our journey. The joy of conjuring up new ideas, and the moments along the way to experiencing them, is what life is really about. 

Take marriage as an example. It isn't only about you becoming who you are and attracting a wonderful life partner. It isn't only about growing together as a couple and as individuals as you get to know each other through out your dating time. It isn't only about sharing in moments with your loved ones while planning your wedding and celebrating on your wedding day. And it isn't only about all of the ways in which you and your partner choose to move through your years together as husband and wife. Whether you choose to be parents, grow your careers, create a living space to call a home… 

It’s never only about one moment in time. It’s about all of the moments, as they are happening, along the way.  

There is only one true destination in life. The present moment, the now. And you are always there whether you’re conscious of it or not. 

Don’t expend your life’s time and energy trying to get to someplace. All you have to do is slow down and just be. When you do this you will realize you have already arrived at the most wonderful destination you could imagine. When you are present in your now moments, you truly are enjoying the ride.   

The Station - by Robert Hastings

Tucked away in our subconscious minds is an idyllic vision. We see ourselves on a long, long trip that almost spans the continent. We're traveling by passenger train, and out the windows we drink in the passing scene of cars on nearby highways, of children waving at a crossing, of cattle grazing on a distant hillside, of smoke pouring from a power plant, of row upon row of corn and wheat, of flatlands and valleys, of mountains and rolling hills, of biting winter and blazing summer and cavorting spring and docile fall.

But uppermost in our minds is the final destination. On a certain day at a certain hour we will pull into the station. There will be bands playing, and flags waving. And once we get there so many wonderful dreams will come true. So many wishes will be fulfilled and so many pieces of our lives finally will be neatly fitted together like a completed jigsaw puzzle. How restlessly we pace the aisles, damning the minutes for loitering ... waiting, waiting, waiting, for the station.

However, sooner or later we must realize there is no one station, no one place to arrive at once and for all. The true joy of life is the trip. The station is only a dream. It constantly outdistances us.

"When we reach the station, that will be it !" we cry. Translated it means, "When I'm 18, that will be it ! When I buy a new 450 SL Mercedes Benz, that will be it ! When I put the last kid through college, that will be it ! When I have paid off the mortgage, that will be it ! When I win a promotion, that will be it ! When I reach the age of retirement, that will be it ! I shall live happily ever after !"

Unfortunately, once we get it, then it disappears. The station somehow hides itself at the end of an endless track.

"Relish the moment" is a good motto, especially when coupled with Psalm 118:24: "This is the day which the Lord hath made; we will rejoice and be glad in it." It isn't the burdens of today that drive men mad. Rather, it is regret over yesterday or fear of tomorrow. Regret and fear are twin thieves who would rob us of today.

So, stop pacing the aisles and counting the miles. Instead, climb more mountains, eat more ice cream, go barefoot more often, swim more rivers, watch more sunsets, laugh more and cry less. Life must be lived as we go along. The station will come soon enough.

Robert J. Hastings Estate

 
The here and now ROCKS! I'm talking about the real, true present moment. Not the story, or details you tell yourself when you think you are being present. Don't get me wrong, thoughts happen in the present moment too. But there's no 'juice' behind them. They just are. They move through noticed but not hooked into.

The true present moment is where it's at. Literally! In the present moment anything can happen, anything is possible and you are in total control. Bringing yourself back to the present can be done anywhere, anytime.

Being aware that you are not present, is the first step to becoming present. I see not being present as a necessary step to the practice of being present. (Isn't that a relief?)

In moments when you find your brain on over-drive the first step is to be conscious, to be aware of where your mind is at. To make the distinct shift to being present you may find it helpful to first take a deep breathe. Think of it as opening the door before walking into the present moment. Perhaps it will help you to say to yourself something like “Ok. I’m back” or “Here I am!” or simply “I am present”.

One of the ways to know if you are being present is to feel your body from the inside. When you’re still and present you can feel your lungs fill with air. You can feel your posture and the natural tingling of your skin.

Once you’ve checked in presently with your body you can do the same with your thoughts. Be in the physical, emotional and mental space of wherever you are in that moment. 

Being present gives you a chance to slow down and be still. It helps you to truly enjoy and experience life’s delicious moments. In the present moment you can make decisions, or take actions, from your aligned and authentic self rather than from your head. You can check in with how something is really making you feel and how a possible decision is resonating with who you are. 

After some time, and some practice, you will find that you automatically make the switch to being present. You won’t even have to think about it. You will be able to call upon your new found ability to be in the moment when you know it will help you the most. It’s like a good friend. It’s always there when you need it.

In my home town area we are in full swing of the summer season.

Even though this summer may look and feel a bit different because of COVID-19, it's still the time of year where our days are filled with outdoor activities and connecting with loved ones more.

The days also tend to get filled with seasonal to-do's and the preparation that goes into vacation time. And for many, there is an added emotional or mental stress because of recent COVID-19 events.

Summertime is meant to be filled with fun, ease, enjoyment and connection. Unfortunately our society, with or without a pandemic, has moved more into the doing of things rather than the being with things. We have become very task oriented, rushing from thing to thing, or place to place. This gets us stuck in the mindset of counting our accomplishments and how productive we were as the measurements of a life, or summer, well lived.

How do we bring back the ease and joy of summer? How can we savour our summer moments more instead of feeling like it has all comes and goes so quickly? 

The answer is AWARENESS. 

Here are 3 easy ways for you to implement, and practice, AWARENESS this summer:

1. Slow Down

Even if it’s for a few minutes everyday make sure to take a bit of quiet time to be aware of the moment you’re in. The more you practice this daily the more natural the habit will become. You’ll begin to recognize when you’re up in your head too much and out of the present. 
You can do this while you’re in your car, in the shower, tending to yard work, listening to the conversation of a loved one, or just before you get out of bed in the morning or fall asleep at night. Simply take a moment, quiet and still your mind, and be conscious of nothing but the moment you are in.

2. Don’t Spread Yourself Too Thin

We all know how busy and full the summer months can be. On top of our everyday responsibilities and commitments we now have additional yard work, more social get togethers, and sometimes planning a summer vacation.
Rather than trying to do everything, deliberately choose which areas you want to dedicate your time to. Do you want to spend time with loved ones? Or are you inspired to work on one of your summer projects? Or maybe you are feeling called to quiet, relaxing, self-care time.
Be aware of what your options are, and then once a week or at the start of every day, make a conscious choice of what feels best to you. (And if needed allow yourself to change your decision along the way. Being aware is also about noticing when things are no longer the best feeling fit and allowing yourself to adjust.) 

3. Decide How You Want To Feel

When you take a few moments each day to decide how you want to feel, it will be easier for you to notice when you are not there. And this information allows you to then change what you are doing and move more in the direction of how you want to feel.
This is something you can do for the summer months as a whole, or you can check in once a week or once a day. Think of it like choosing an emotional theme that you are wanting to have threaded through out your day and summer. 
Ease, fun, satisfaction, joy, playfulness, peace... These are just a few that come to mind for me when I think of the emotional themes that are a fit for my summer months. What are some of yours?

The simple act of practicing one, or all of the steps above will help you implement the wellbeing tool of AWARENESS through out your summer. The more you practice these steps the easier and more natural they will become. And you will find yourself savouring your summer moments more, rather than simply wondering where the days have gone.

Happy savouring! 

When my sister Andrea passed away a group of friends and family went out to a local bar the next night after her funeral. The funeral itself was a beautiful tribute to her and to life, but it was still a funeral. 

We decided that we wanted to have a night to truly celebrate her and celebrate life itself. We drank, we danced, we laughed, we smiled, and we celebrated life together with the energy of our own memories of my sister. 

The song we dedicated to her was Life is a Highway and we rocked the place when it came on!  The love and life energy that flowed through each of us as we thought about Andrea and embraced our own lives was truly a beautiful thing. Every time I hear that song a huge smile creeps across my face no matter what I’m doing.

If you think about it, life really is a highway. There are opportunities to turn along the way, and we’re the ones who get to choose which direction to go. We get to decide how fast or slow, and when we want to stop to check out the scenery, or pick somebody up for the ride. 

Where do you want to go? 
How do you want to get there? 
Who do you want to have in your life for the ride? 

It’s all up to you. 

As a life coach, yoga teacher and wellbeing mentor, I know this to be true. As my client or student, I help you decide if you want to take the exit before you, or wait for another. I support you, so you can support yourself to have the best ride of your life. 

Remember, no matter what choices we make or how fast or slow we choose to go, it’s ALL worth the ride on the highway of life! I can’t wait to help you enjoy the ride and remember this is your life and it’s up to you. One of the reasons I enjoy coaching so much is I get to watch while people take the steering wheel and “hit the road” with joy and excitement the way life is meant to be lived!