Who Are You Listening To?

Have you ever tried to make a decision or sort through a life experience and you ask the people around you what they would do, or what they think you should do? 

 

Why do you think we do that? 

 

Why do we reach outside of ourselves for answers about what is best for us?

 

Why do we rely on what others think and say – which is all based on their own life experiences and beliefs, no matter how much they know and love us – rather than tuning in to what feels right for ourselves?

 

I believe the answer is because we have not been shown or taught how to do it otherwise. 

 

We come into this world being connected to our inner being and voice. Think about how kids try things, are curious and do what they want. They follow their own inner voice. 

 

Adults believe that because they have been here on earth longer that they know what is best for children and teenagers. And so the teaching and training away from listening to self begins. No, don’t do that... Behave this way because it’s expected of you... Follow the norms of society… etc. Until one day in our adulthood (early adulthood if we’re lucky) we start to feel like we have been living life on someone else’s terms. We have been making choices and decisions based on what we think we should do or what others tell us we should do, rather than listening to what truly feels right for us. 

 

We become aware of just how much we have been trying to please others. Even those who mean well and love us unconsciously steer us away from our inner being. 

 

How do we get back to listening to and honouring our own inner voice when we have been listening to others for so many years? How do we focus less on what others think and care more about what feels best to us?

 

The first step is awareness. Being as aware as you can be, as often as you can, of when you are looking to others for your answers. Start by just noticing without needing to change it right away. Do your best to notice and observe when it happens but don’t beat yourself up over it. You are simply behaving in a way that you have been for many years. It’s a practiced pattern (an unconscious, practice by default pattern) that you have decided no longer serves you. Give yourself time for it to change and be kind to yourself as you are making the shift. 

 

Once you have practiced being aware of when you don’t listen to your inner voice there will come a time when you are ready to do it differently. This is the second part of awareness – being aware of how you feel (on the subject/decision/choice at hand). If you are feeling conflicted and not clear on how you feel chances are you are still caught up in your thoughts about the ‘what if’ details. See if you can focus more on your body, your heart, your belly and notice your feelings. See if you can move away from the details of the topic and go general. Move away from the ‘story’ of what you are experiencing and focus on the feelings, energy and vibration you feel around it. 

 

Be as general as you can and think about making decision in one particular direction. Notice how you feel when you imagine that version. Stay in this for a few minutes and then bring yourself back to the present in order to become somewhat neutral again. When you are ready imagine making the choice in another direction. Notice how you feel when you imagine this version. 

 

Sometimes this process makes it very clear which option feels best. And other times the difference is subtle. Either way, you will always have one choice that feels lighter, easier, creates more relief for you, than the other. It doesn’t matter why. It doesn’t matter what others would choose. What matters most is the direction that feels best to you. 

 

Once you have determined which option feels better or less resistant, take action in that direction. Notice how you feel when you do and notice how it feels afterwards. You will begin to notice things feel better when you follow your inner guidance. With time and practice your trust in your inner voice will strengthen because it will never lead you astray. 

 

It will take time to change your habits and patters from listening more to others, to listening more to yourself. The benefits you will receive from honouring yourself more will be worth it. Why not start now? As you move throughout the rest of your day be aware - Who are you listening to?  - and continue your awareness from there